Have you ever had a friend who made you feel like total shit? I bet you have (Unless of course you were that friend... then I say shame on you.) You know her, the one who puts you down all the time or the one who puts herself ahead of you or even steals the boy you like. Not sure what it is about these friends but for some reason I have had a few of them myself. Something about them draws you to them. You almost feel important just being around them, being their friend.
As an adult I can honestly say that I have no room in my life for these types of people but as a child I strived to fit in and put up with a lot to do so. I remember once walking through an arena with one friend and a boy looked over and smiled at us. (I still swear to this day the he was looking at me.) When I said "Oh that boy totally just smiled at me" excitedly. My friend turned to me and with complete disgust in her voice told me flat out that he was definately not looking at me but at her. I'm not sure if she was jealous and wanted to hurt me or if it just came out that way. What I am sure about is that that experience (along with many like it) caused two things to happen. 1. It made me believe that I was ugly and that no one would ever look at me so long as I was standing next to a gorgeous girl. And 2. Eventually I realized that a friend like that is no friend at all.
I could go on and on about different "friends" and different examples (trust me there are a lot) but my point it that people who hurt you to make themselves feel better are not worth the time or effort. It is healthiest to surround yourself with people that you feel comfortable enough to be yourself around. People who make you feel worthy. People who love you and will encourage you not put you down.
There are friends who will be there for you forever. Friends who you can not talk to for years and when you bump into eachother it's like you never skipped a beat. Friends who would bend over backwards, take the shirt off their backs to help you. These friends are one in a million. There are friend who aren't around forever but are great fun while they are there. You just sort of drift apart and that's OK too. There are friends like the friends I mentioned above who for some reason you are drawn to them and sure you had great fun with but you know you are better off without. All types of friends leave a foot print in your soul (Some deeper than others). All types of friends have a lot to do with who and what you are. If you are trying to get ahead in life, trying to love yourself and be all that you can be (in the army... sorry I just couldn't help it.) then you may also need to leave behind any friends who might be holding you back. Or at least talk with them and tell them that you need them to be supportive. If they laugh about it or ignore your request then you have you answer.
I know I say this all the time but you are worth it. Being told that you are ugly, weird or whatever over and over again is not only tiring but it also does a large number to your ego. Once you are surrounded by people who help to lift you up will inevitably do just that. They lift you up. They encourage you. They make you a stronger you. And you'll finally start feeling and seeing what they do. You are beautiful.
Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
I Hate My...
Everybody has something about themselves they wish they could change. According to a People Magazine Poll 90% of women wish they could change something about their bodies. Infact 34% of women actually said that they would be willing to try a diet even if it posed at least a slight health risk. This is completely insane. I'm all for plastic surgery if it's something that means so much to you but to take your health at risk to shed a few pounds is preposterous.
No woman is perfect (Other than myself of course... Well that's what I tell my husband anyway.) And no woman can escape feeling self-conscious and insecure at times. It's human nature. I did a little research to get my point across so I'm just going to dive right in.
Sheryl Crow hates her legs and has a crooked nose. She's thin, she's gorgeous and yes even she has something she'd like to change about herself.
Angelina Jolie has admitted to being insecure about her body since having her twins. She says she's saggy. Hey wait... Isn't she considered a sex icon? With her lips no one is going to be checking for any loose skin. She looks so great that even Brad Pitt (Sexiest Man EVER) goes to bed with her every night.
Fashionista Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham has been quoted saying "There are loads of things I don't like about my body. I don't like my hair, my belly button, my stomach or my fingernails. Also I have no definition. Probably from having babies. I look awful naked." Really cause just about ever woman I know want to have her style and look as great as her. She can pull off anything. (Though I've never heard of someone hating their fingernails but to each their own. I have bigger problems myself... Like a huge ass.)
Kate Beckinsale doesn't like her teeth. She said "I never realized what enormous teeth I have until I saw my movies." And here I thought she had a gorgeous smile.
Gwenyth Paltrow never feels thin enough or that her breasts are not big enough. It is so sad that she feels that she needs to be thinner because I read on a different poll somewhere that people think she is too thin. But that's Hollywood pressure for you.
Jessica Biel (Whom I love and can only wish I looked as great as her. She really does have a perfect body) hates her legs, saying "They could be longer and leaner."
Joss Stone is super shy and self-conscious about her body being quoted saying "I never feel gorgeous. I've got wobbly bits that I hate and I'm as embarassed by my body as any woman."
America Ferrara used to hate her curves. "I thought I was fat. I wanted to be a Charlie's Angel but couldn't squeese into a size 0 leather trouser."
Audrey Hepburn was self-conscious of her nose.
Mary Kate Olsen actually goes out of her way to not be photographed wearing a bathing suit. She doesn't want to hear the scrutiny of the press saying she's too thin or not thin enough. Which I assume is very hard to hear for someone who is recovering from anorexia.
Anna Faris was self-conscious about her body when she posed for Play Boy Magazine. Saying that she was "awkward and clumsy" in high school.
Lindsay Lohan is self-conscious of her legs and freckles.
Keira Knightley absolutely hates Red Carpet events saying "I don't like the fact that people write 'Oh you look like crap' or 'I don't like your arms'. I'm not Wonder Woman! I have self-esteem issues. Everybody does. You know skinny people are allowed to feel like shit about themselves too."
Jessica Alba claims that she is self-conscious and shy despite being voted World's Sexiest Woman.
Before hating down on yourself just try to remember that everyone may have something that they don't like about themselves but everyone also has something special about themselves too. So try to focus on your positives rather then your negatives. It's not easy to do. Maybe you can grab a jar and put a dollar into it every time you put yourself down. When you have enough treat yourself to a spa treatment, a vacation or a pair of pants that make your ass look great. Whatever you do always remember that it's human nature to feel down. And you are perfect just the way you are.
No woman is perfect (Other than myself of course... Well that's what I tell my husband anyway.) And no woman can escape feeling self-conscious and insecure at times. It's human nature. I did a little research to get my point across so I'm just going to dive right in.
Sheryl Crow hates her legs and has a crooked nose. She's thin, she's gorgeous and yes even she has something she'd like to change about herself.
Angelina Jolie has admitted to being insecure about her body since having her twins. She says she's saggy. Hey wait... Isn't she considered a sex icon? With her lips no one is going to be checking for any loose skin. She looks so great that even Brad Pitt (Sexiest Man EVER) goes to bed with her every night.
Fashionista Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham has been quoted saying "There are loads of things I don't like about my body. I don't like my hair, my belly button, my stomach or my fingernails. Also I have no definition. Probably from having babies. I look awful naked." Really cause just about ever woman I know want to have her style and look as great as her. She can pull off anything. (Though I've never heard of someone hating their fingernails but to each their own. I have bigger problems myself... Like a huge ass.)
Kate Beckinsale doesn't like her teeth. She said "I never realized what enormous teeth I have until I saw my movies." And here I thought she had a gorgeous smile.
Gwenyth Paltrow never feels thin enough or that her breasts are not big enough. It is so sad that she feels that she needs to be thinner because I read on a different poll somewhere that people think she is too thin. But that's Hollywood pressure for you.
Jessica Biel (Whom I love and can only wish I looked as great as her. She really does have a perfect body) hates her legs, saying "They could be longer and leaner."
Joss Stone is super shy and self-conscious about her body being quoted saying "I never feel gorgeous. I've got wobbly bits that I hate and I'm as embarassed by my body as any woman."
America Ferrara used to hate her curves. "I thought I was fat. I wanted to be a Charlie's Angel but couldn't squeese into a size 0 leather trouser."
Audrey Hepburn was self-conscious of her nose.
Mary Kate Olsen actually goes out of her way to not be photographed wearing a bathing suit. She doesn't want to hear the scrutiny of the press saying she's too thin or not thin enough. Which I assume is very hard to hear for someone who is recovering from anorexia.
Anna Faris was self-conscious about her body when she posed for Play Boy Magazine. Saying that she was "awkward and clumsy" in high school.
Lindsay Lohan is self-conscious of her legs and freckles.
Keira Knightley absolutely hates Red Carpet events saying "I don't like the fact that people write 'Oh you look like crap' or 'I don't like your arms'. I'm not Wonder Woman! I have self-esteem issues. Everybody does. You know skinny people are allowed to feel like shit about themselves too."
Jessica Alba claims that she is self-conscious and shy despite being voted World's Sexiest Woman.
Before hating down on yourself just try to remember that everyone may have something that they don't like about themselves but everyone also has something special about themselves too. So try to focus on your positives rather then your negatives. It's not easy to do. Maybe you can grab a jar and put a dollar into it every time you put yourself down. When you have enough treat yourself to a spa treatment, a vacation or a pair of pants that make your ass look great. Whatever you do always remember that it's human nature to feel down. And you are perfect just the way you are.
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