Unhealthy Relationships

Have you ever had a friend who made you feel like total shit? I bet you have (Unless of course you were that friend... then I say shame on you.) You know her, the one who puts you down all the time or the one who puts herself ahead of you or even steals the boy you like. Not sure what it is about these friends but for some reason I have had a few of them myself. Something about them draws you to them. You almost feel important just being around them, being their friend.

As an adult I can honestly say that I have no room in my life for these types of people but as a child I strived to fit in and put up with a lot to do so. I remember once walking through an arena with one friend and a boy looked over and smiled at us. (I still swear to this day the he was looking at me.) When I said "Oh that boy totally just smiled at me" excitedly. My friend turned to me and with complete disgust in her voice told me flat out that he was definately not looking at me but at her. I'm not sure if she was jealous and wanted to hurt me or if it just came out that way. What I am sure about is that that experience (along with many like it) caused two things to happen. 1. It made me believe that I was ugly and that no one would ever look at me so long as I was standing next to a gorgeous girl. And 2. Eventually I realized that a friend like that is no friend at all.

I could go on and on about different "friends" and different examples (trust me there are a lot) but my point it that people who hurt you to make themselves feel better are not worth the time or effort. It is healthiest to surround yourself with people that you feel comfortable enough to be yourself around. People who make you feel worthy. People who love you and will encourage you not put you down.

There are friends who will be there for you forever. Friends who you can not talk to for years and when you bump into eachother it's like you never skipped a beat. Friends who would bend over backwards, take the shirt off their backs to help you. These friends are one in a million. There are friend who aren't around forever but are great fun while they are there. You just sort of drift apart and that's OK too. There are friends like the friends I mentioned above who for some reason you are drawn to them and sure you had great fun with but you know you are better off without. All types of friends leave a foot print in your soul (Some deeper than others). All types of friends have a lot to do with who and what you are. If you are trying to get ahead in life, trying to love yourself and be all that you can be (in the army... sorry I just couldn't help it.) then you may also need to leave behind any friends who might be holding you back. Or at least talk with them and tell them that you need them to be supportive. If they laugh about it or ignore your request then you have you answer.

I know I say this all the time but you are worth it. Being told that you are ugly, weird or whatever over and over again is not only tiring but it also does a large number to your ego. Once you are surrounded by people who help to lift you up will inevitably do just that. They lift you up. They encourage you. They make you a stronger you. And you'll finally start feeling and seeing what they do. You are beautiful.